So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
