worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
