Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
