Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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