Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
