It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
