If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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