I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
