He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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