i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
