Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
