Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just high enough for therapy.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
