so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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