I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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