dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
