none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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