Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
