I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
