saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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