Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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