So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
