we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
