She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
