do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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