your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
