I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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