sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
