I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
