Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
