Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
