New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
