Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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