i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
