just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
