i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's rum buckets o'clock
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
