I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
