you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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