we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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