omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
