But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize