Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
