i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
smell my finger.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
wow bdsm is so cute
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
