Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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