Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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