am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
