I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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