yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
so much tequila, so little girl.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
