Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
