We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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