i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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